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Post by Sofia on Dec 3, 2008 2:08:58 GMT -5
About two hours ago (it is now 1:53 in the morning) my dad awoke to the sound of me crying. So, he made his way into my room and asked me why I was crying. Like anyone with half a mind would, I refused to (belive me, you would too). He kept on nagging, so I told him why I was crying.
In everything I do, I feel out of place, a large part of my "friends" ignore me for most of the day, and in general school is a living hell. Then, when I get home, my dad gets ticked off at me for something really silly (like... if we're coming back from some place and on the walk home he decides to stop and talk to someone, he'll get super super angry at me just for getting home before him, forgetting that he'll eventually be coming in, and locking the door) and we'll have a screaming match for an hour or so. This will end in him asking me why I'm so disrespectful to him. I'll mutter something under my breath (i always have to get the last word) but he won't hear it. Then I'll try going to sleep and only succeed once the clock has reached 3:00 AM. This repeats every day.
So, I told him all this, ommiting some of the parts about him, and you know what he said?
"Well, honey, it's really all your fault."
In so many words.
That's really what I wanted to hear.
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Post by Jo on Dec 3, 2008 6:09:49 GMT -5
Oh, Sofia <3333333
That's really not nice. I'm so sorry. I love you, you know that, right? I wish there was something I could do; I always do. Online friends are just so much better, if we all lived in the same place life would be so amazing and we'd be the happiest we could ever be. I'm sorry about your dad, too. I really honestly wouldn't know how to give advice about that, but it was super strong of you to tell him why you were crying.
I'd say that your dad just wants what's best for you. As hard as it might be to believe, it really is. Telling you it's your fault really doesn't help, I can't understand that part. I think, the only way, is to show him that you're one of the best people this world can ever have. Because you are.
You're only thirteen, you shouldn't be feeling like this. School, well, I don't know much about your schools, but it should get better. Everybody hates school. If these "friends" ignore you then they are clearly not worthy of being your friends. You should stick with your real friends. I don't want to drag this around to me, because it's not about me, but I thought school sucked and I had no friends, but seriously what kept me going was maybe two real friends and one amazing online one. It sounds sad but she was always there. And you know we're always here.
Just know that you can talk to me about anything. I'll always be here. I feel so bad because I barely know anything about you? That must change. I need to help you out now after you did me. Somehow.
I don't know if you wanted a giant reply, but I wanted to let you know.
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Post by Nick on Dec 3, 2008 7:26:48 GMT -5
I'm sorry to hear that, Sofia; days like these can be really awful  I don't know why your dad would say something like that, but parents have their bad days too. Don't take the hurtful things he says to heart. As hard as it is to believe, he doesn't really mean it, deep down inside. And school is never a kind place. I've known what it's like to feel utterly alone, too, but if I learned one thing from that, it's this- don't let others bring you down. Even if they ignore you. The more you pander to them, the worse they'll treat you. It sounds cliche, but be yourself, and know that it's just a few more years or less. If you have a couple of close friends, it helps. And Jo's right- we'll still be here for you. |
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Post by Mel on Dec 3, 2008 7:50:34 GMT -5
I know I don't know you all that well, but from what I've seen here, you're a really fantastic person. <3
School can be hard, I know. Like Nick said, just remember that it's not forever, and that we'll always be here for you, no matter what happens.
I'm probably not the best at advice, but I want you to know that we all love you, and we're cheering you on.
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Post by Anne on Dec 3, 2008 10:12:46 GMT -5
*hugs Nut* We love you <33 Sadly parents don't always have the best ideas about how to handle things; they don't necessarily think about what they say and how it might affect their children. It was hurtful of him to say what he did and I'm sorry that it happened, but its certainly not your fault and I hope he reconsiders what he said. It's difficult to juggle a crap time at school without the right kind of nurture from home, but we're here in a way and I don't think there isn't one among us who doesn't care about you, even if it might seem that way. I can't advise you on how to approach this school thing (After all I dropped out when socially it got too much for me to manage) but what everyone has said is right; school isn't forever, these people aren't forever, and even their coldness toward you might not be perminent. Teen students are quite fickle creatures; their affections often come and go like the tide, but if you can find even one good friend to stick it out with it should get better. If all else fails, bury yourself in a book. Sometimes I would just spend my lunchtimes alone in the library and it made me feel better  |
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Post by Sofia on Dec 3, 2008 20:40:58 GMT -5
Thank you. Now I feel loved. (:
I usually find it hard to out-right thank someone or say how I feel, so take this as a huge, huge, thank you.
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Sorie
Trumpet
Whiney Porcotter[A:0]
no one sympathizes
Posts: 786
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Post by Sorie on Dec 3, 2008 22:44:46 GMT -5
Honestly Nut, if you feel left out when you're around certain "friends," get away from them. If they care, they'll reach out to you. I've had too many experiences with people I thought enjoyed my company, but after a while I started to notice they never acknowledged my presence. I don't want to sound judgmental, but really, a good number of friendships, even those seemingly close, aren't real at all. I myself, stick with one friend the bulk of the time, and occasionally two, but the rest I greet when I happen to see them.
Sorry if it sounds harsh, but I find I'm happier that way, rather than try to pretend I trust everyone at my school.
As for the home life, my best bet would be to just hang on. He sounds like the type of father who doesn't really mean it, he's just not really sure how to handle his child's emotions.
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Post by Jo on Dec 4, 2008 6:56:51 GMT -5
Always welcome <333 Always loved.
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Post by Sofia on Dec 4, 2008 16:47:14 GMT -5
Honestly Nut, if you feel left out when you're around certain "friends," get away from them. If they care, they'll reach out to you. I've had too many experiences with people I thought enjoyed my company, but after a while I started to notice they never acknowledged my presence. I don't want to sound judgmental, but really, a good number of friendships, even those seemingly close, aren't real at all. I myself, stick with one friend the bulk of the time, and occasionally two, but the rest I greet when I happen to see them. Sorry if it sounds harsh, but I find I'm happier that way, rather than try to pretend I trust everyone at my school. You're not being harsh. It's just hard, that's all. |
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I don't know why your dad would say something like that, but parents have their bad days too. Don't take the hurtful things he says to heart. As hard as it is to believe, he doesn't really mean it, deep down inside.
