Post by Jo on Jan 21, 2009 17:06:08 GMT -5
Right. Sorry to keep dropping my shit on you. Well, I don't. Grr. =[ But, I really need advice. Seriously. This has been eating away at me every night since I told you about my... feelings. Anyroad, I've decided to do something about it, since all my life I've made up some kind of bullshit to get me through the day. And I want to tell someone because I can't keep crying myself to sleep every night.
Anyroad. Right. So, I'm worried my problems aren't enough for me to warrent feeling crappy. I know this is something stupid to think, but I feel really guilty because everyone out there has OMG problems, like bad families, abuse or something and shit but mine are just centred around myself, how much I hate me and some other mental issues and stuff.
I basically just want some help. I just want to be able to go in a lift, or walk past people without going red, or stop being paranoid and anxiety and stuff. I want to be able to speak to people, get a job, talk with people who might be my friends instead of ignoring them because I can't think of anything to say. Can people help you with these things? I don't want to feel like this anymore.
So, when I tell someone, they won't think I'm... getting myself worked up or anything, will they? I don't know who to tell, though. Will my Text and Context person be okay with sorting me out? I feel like I can trust her, she seems nice. But, she's young and new, will I frighten her? My tutor person seems a bit iffy, I don't know what to do about him. He let me down before, so meh. Others are just weird, and I don't know any councillor type people around the Uni because I never ask because I'm afraid.
I basically do want you to tell me what to do. I'm that scared and stupid. I remember all the advice you gave me before. I'm trying to follow it. Where would I find out who to tell? =[ I'm rambling.
And to be honest, this is going to sound awful, but I do want your sympathy. I really do. Even though you probably all have worse problems than me. I'd do anything for you. I'm here to listen to you. I like it when you tell me stuff. Useless crap. Real crap. Funny crap. Anything. But, and here's me turning it back to me again, I never tell people how I feel, really. Ever.
That was bad. I'm sorry. I can't right good stuff. Felt good to get that out. Even though it wasn't relevant. But... help me.?
Anyroad. Right. So, I'm worried my problems aren't enough for me to warrent feeling crappy. I know this is something stupid to think, but I feel really guilty because everyone out there has OMG problems, like bad families, abuse or something and shit but mine are just centred around myself, how much I hate me and some other mental issues and stuff.
I basically just want some help. I just want to be able to go in a lift, or walk past people without going red, or stop being paranoid and anxiety and stuff. I want to be able to speak to people, get a job, talk with people who might be my friends instead of ignoring them because I can't think of anything to say. Can people help you with these things? I don't want to feel like this anymore.
So, when I tell someone, they won't think I'm... getting myself worked up or anything, will they? I don't know who to tell, though. Will my Text and Context person be okay with sorting me out? I feel like I can trust her, she seems nice. But, she's young and new, will I frighten her? My tutor person seems a bit iffy, I don't know what to do about him. He let me down before, so meh. Others are just weird, and I don't know any councillor type people around the Uni because I never ask because I'm afraid.
I basically do want you to tell me what to do. I'm that scared and stupid. I remember all the advice you gave me before. I'm trying to follow it. Where would I find out who to tell? =[ I'm rambling.
And to be honest, this is going to sound awful, but I do want your sympathy. I really do. Even though you probably all have worse problems than me. I'd do anything for you. I'm here to listen to you. I like it when you tell me stuff. Useless crap. Real crap. Funny crap. Anything. But, and here's me turning it back to me again, I never tell people how I feel, really. Ever.
That was bad. I'm sorry. I can't right good stuff. Felt good to get that out. Even though it wasn't relevant. But... help me.?